Who Pays for Your Child's Wedding if You're Divorced?

When parents get a divorce, they still have to provide for their children’s needs. Child support obligations generally continue until the child becomes an adult. Many parents still provide some support to their young adult children to help them get a solid start. This includes help with college expenses, a down payment on a house, or helping to pay wedding costs.

Weddings are expensive, and financial stress can cause problems between divorced parents and their children. Talk to a divorce attorney to understand your role in paying for your child’s wedding after a divorce.

Divorced Parents’ Obligation To Pay for a Wedding

Traditionally, the bride’s parents paid for the costs of the wedding day. Wedding etiquette and traditions go back a long time, but times are changing. Parents generally have no legal obligation to pay for their child’s wedding or any other expenses once the child becomes an adult, unless such obligations are explicitly included in a divorce agreement. It is up to the individual parents to decide what they want to pay for after a divorce, and as the child grows up.

When parents get a divorce, they have a financial obligation to provide for their child’s needs. Child support payments continue until the child reaches the age of majority, depending on state law. However, some states extend child support obligations when the child is in high school, goes to college, or is disabled.

Understanding Wedding Expenses After Divorce

Even if you don’t have a legal obligation, you may want to help pay for your child’s wedding. Unfortunately, your support may go unappreciated. Possible situations include:

• Your ex-partner does not want to help pay
• Your child wants to pay for their own wedding
• You and your co-parent want to contribute equally
• You want to give more or less than your ex
• One parent has remarried, and the stepparent also wants to contribute
• One child has already received a certain amount for their wedding, but now things are different financially
• In-laws expect you to pay for the big day

Discussing who’s going to pay for what in a wedding party can put kids, parents, and blended family members in an awkward position.

Including Wedding Expenses in a Divorce Agreement

Separating spouses can include many types of financial terms in their divorce agreement. Generally, separation agreements include property division, alimony, and child custody plans. However, parents can include terms for paying for their child’s wedding expenses. The court may enforce the terms of the divorce agreement, including those related to wedding expenses, depending on the jurisdiction and the specific language of the agreement.

Usually, parents pay for wedding costs based on their financial situation. Types of agreements can include:

• One parent pays for the wedding costs
• The parents pay for the wedding equally
• Each parent provides a set amount towards their child’s wedding
• The bride’s or groom’s parents pay for the costs of the honeymoon

Importance of Communication Between Ex-Spouses

Ideally, parents can communicate with each other and work out how much they can and will pay for together. This allows your child to focus on all of the other parts of the wedding planning.

Your contribution does not need to be equal to your ex’s contribution. Do what feels right to you. You don’t have to stick with traditional rules that dictate the groom’s family paying for the rehearsal dinner and the bride’s family paying for the wedding. Nowadays, it isn’t out of the ordinary for the groom and bride to pay for the wedding themselves. Still, it’s best to discuss a plan with your ex and the bride and groom.

Parents Planning for the Wedding

Beyond the wedding budget, parents and family members may also help with planning. Sometimes, divorced parents believe that if they are paying more, they should have a bigger say in the wedding decisions. Your role in the wedding is up to the bride and groom. The couple should determine the roles they’d like you and the other parents to play in the wedding, including who pays for what.

Planning Ahead for Your Children’s Weddings

Planning ahead for the costs of a wedding can help relieve some of the stress. If you suspect a future wedding will be an issue, you can include terms about future financial support for your children’s weddings in your divorce agreement, but the enforceability of such terms may vary based on jurisdiction and court interpretation. You can also update your parenting plan, even if weddings may not take place for a long time or ever.

Your family law attorney can provide guidance on the best ways to plan for the future. This can help avoid conflicts over who pays for what when your child grows up and wants to start their own family. Talk to a divorce lawyer about ways to ensure a smooth wedding planning process for your children.