What if My Child Doesn't Want To See Their Other Parent?

When it is time for your children to spend time with their other parent, they may start dragging their feet or saying they don’t want to go. Your co-parent may blame you for the children not wanting to see them. What should a parent do when a child refuses to follow the visitation schedule?

It can be hard to comply with a parenting plan when the kids don’t want to see the other parent. Unfortunately, a lot of the responsibility falls on you as the parent. Here is helpful information about what to do when your children refuse visitation. For legal advice about changing custody arrangements, speak with a child custody family law attorney today.

Custodial Parent Responsibilities

A child custody agreement should encompass legal custody, or who has major decision-making authority, and physical custody, more commonly known as parenting time, timesharing, or visitation. There could be legal implications for violating the order in a custody case. As such, you could be in trouble if you don’t comply with the court’s child custody order on visitation.

Part of your job as a parent is to foster a relationship between your kids and their other parent, no matter how difficult the situation may be. Supporting the visitation schedule is a critical way to encourage them to build and maintain that bond. Most family courts agree that children should maintain good relationships with both parents. The parents have to work together to achieve that goal.

What Do You Do When Your Child Doesn’t Want to See a Parent?

You may wonder what to do if your child doesn’t want to spend time with their other parent. It can help to speak to your child and explain the situation. Their parents must live apart, but both love them equally and want to spend time with them. Frame the conversation positively: “Your other parent misses you and wants to spend time with you, and when the visit is over, you’ll get back here and see me.” You should not explain the legal visitation time requirements.

Children, especially young children, often get cues from the adults around them. If you talk positively about visitation, your child may be more likely to mirror that behavior. Parent visitation is an excellent opportunity and not a chore.

It’s important not to dismiss your child when they don’t want to see their other parent. Have a conversation and listen to their reasons to validate what they’re feeling. Sometimes, a child wants to feel heard. By listening, you could improve their outlook on shared parenting time.

At What Age Can a Child Say They Don’t Want to See a Parent?

An older child, particularly in their teenage years, presents different considerations. You cannot physically force a fifteen-year-old child to see a parent if they don’t want to. Threatening your teen with punishment will likely hurt more than it will help.

The hard truth is that teenagers would likely rather be with their friends than their parents. However, family law courts typically hold parents responsible for following the court’s custody order.

It is important to note that in most family courts, until your child is 18, they do not get to decide with which parent they live or how often they see each parent. The caveat is they do get a voice and opinion on these issues. Family court judges will consider your teen’s wishes when deciding what is in the child’s best interest as they issue a custody order and visitation schedule.

Because the custodial parent typically cannot make a teenager visit as ordered, the court is unlikely to find the parent in contempt of court for failing to comply with a visitation order. You can encourage your child to go and ask them to schedule at least some of the time designated to visit the other parent.

The child’s age becomes a factor, as older children can often better articulate why they want what schedule they want. The family court judge will listen to your child’s preference, and the weight that opinion is given will depend on the child’s reasoning.

For example, if the child’s preference for Parent A is because Parent B always yells at them and is verbally and emotionally abusive, that would carry more weight than the child’s preference being because Parent A’s house has more lenient rules than Parent B’s house.

When Is Visitation in the Best Interest of the Child?

When deciding on child custody cases, the court will consider the child’s best interests. Outside of a situation involving abuse or neglect, the court will almost always hold that it’s in the child’s best interest to continue the parent-child relationship with both parents.

And while the “best interest” standard varies from one state to the next, some common factors include:

• Need for a stable home environment
• The mental and physical health of the parents
• Child’s wishes
• Adjustment to school and community
• Religion and cultural considerations

If you have any concerns about your visitation agreement, your child’s refusal to see their other parent, or want to make any adjustment to your custody order, consult an attorney with experience in family cases. Court-ordered visitation is a legal matter, so you want to ensure that anything you do is within the limits of the law.

Talk to a child custody lawyer about complying with a court order if your younger child doesn’t want to see the other parent.